Robbie Johnson Quartet at the Green Dolphin

"Excuse me waiter, which one is Robbie Johnson?"
"He's the one with the respirator."
I chuckled quietly at what I thought was the South African waiter's funny English. Was he calling the old man's instrument a respirator? Then I looked more closely and I saw the plastic tubes running into the singer's nostrils...
***
Some friends and I decided to drop by the famed "Green Dolphin" at the waterfront to catch some live jazz music. We took a table on the second floor overlooking the stage during the night Robbie Johnson Quartet was playing and I had a great view of the action.

Mr Johnson is this old gentleman whose spirit for jazz is far stronger than his failing lungs. He'd bellow out a couple of songs then he'd have to stop and catch his breath. After his set, I started shouting "more!" but my companion told me not to ask for more because he might over-exert himself! He was taking deep breaths and a doctor from the audience went up to ask him if he was alright.

After a 15 minute break, he was back on stage but the piano solos were noticeably longer than his singing. Lots of soul in the performance and I'd definitely be back.

The food is expensive and of average quality. During that night I went, patrons had to order a two-course meal which was a bummer for me because I did not feel like having a big dinner. If you decline, you'd have to sit way behind by the bar where you won't have a view of the band.

Rating:
Four pawikan points. Skip the dinner and come here for the jazz and drinks. I've heard that on some days (Sunday night?), they clear all the tables and replace it with comfy lounging chairs. I can imagine myself sipping an Amarula (with crushed ice) while listening to some excellent jazz.

I Ate A Worm at Nyoni's Krall, Cape Town

"Waiter there are worms on my plate!"
"Those are not worms sir. Those are caterpillars."

Great. An aborted butterfly. So why was it called a Mopane worm in the first place? I guess chewing on a caterpillar is better than chewing an earthworm.

Seeing that I have a penchant for eating aborted animals (see Balut) I shrugged and ate it anyway.
***
Nyoni's Krall on Long Street is another one of those African-themed restaurants (see Mama Africa). It's decorated in the style of a krall which is one those round African huts. Flat screens show videos of traditional music and dance. It feels touristy but surprisingly there are lots of locals.

The menu is intense-- among the side orders are amatumbu (sheep's intestines), amagine (chicken feet) and mopane worms (ZAR25).

I imagine amatumbu to be like chicharon bulaklak and chicken feet is standard street-food fare in the Philippines so I decided to start off my meal with Mopane worms. (They're actually caterpillars that eat the leaves of a Mopane tree. Protein-packed little buggers that are the staple of Africans who can't afford beef.)

They were served deep fried on a bed of salad. I stabbed one with a fork and popped it in my mouth. I expected it to be crunchy but it was surprisingly chewy and hollow like a calamari. Other than the different texture, I'd say it tastes like chicken. (Yes, I finished the whole plate.)

The spicy chicken liver (ZAR30) was so-so. I still prefer the one from the Butcher's Grill. Beers were at ZAR12 each. Try the game medallions (ZAR85) for your main course and top it off with a traditional brandy pudding (ZAR35).

Rating:
Four pawikan points! The service was excellent (as I've come to expect from Cape Town) and the ambience is warm and cozy. The food though is not for the faint of heart. Definitely an interesting menu that could read like a biology lesson highlighting the different parts of an animal. Bonus points because it's decidedly unusual and was the only restaurant that I encountered in the whole of Cape Town which served Mopane worms.

The Fountain Hotel, Cape Town

Maybe my stay at The Southern Sun raised the bar and spoiled me rotten. Every time I compare the Fountain Hotel hotel with them, the Fountain just doesn't measure up. As a guest who stayed for three months, they should have gone out of their way to make sure I enjoyed my stay. I had no such luck.
***
The room
Because I was going to be here for quite some time so I stayed in a suite with a kitchenette at a discounted ZAR17,000/month. No microwave but I had an electric oven, stove top and complete kitchenware.

The bed had a queen sized width but a strangely short length-- my feet dangled at the edge whenever I lay flat on my back!

If you're the sort of person who likes to fall asleep while watching the TV, you're out of luck because it won't fit the room. The TV is outside in the living room and only has a couple of sports and movie channels. (The Southern Sun definitely had more channels.)

The bathroom had a shower/tub combo and it passed my will-walk-barefoot test. Towels were not as big and fluffy as I'd want them to be but I figured for the cost of this room, it should have been as luxurious as the Wild Mushroom Guesthouse at Stellenbosch!

To welcome me, I had a small basket of fruit and a plate of cheese and crackers. For some reason, I never got around to eating the fruit and it remained rotting on the table until I checked out three months later. I purposely did not throw it out just to see if housekeeping would notice it.

Amenities
What amenities? The pool? Hahaha! What a joke! It allegedly had a heater but even after my many complaints, the water never warmed up. Despite it being winter, I decided to give it a chance anyway and went for a swim.

Big mistake.

It's longer than it is wide and I cut my hand along one side as I tried to do my laps. (As of this writing, I still have the scar on my wrist.) After 15 minutes, I had to stop because my eyes were stinging very badly! The cloudy water should've given me the hint that there was too much chlorine. I couldn't open my eyes the next day because they were still so puffy and caked with the salt from my tears.

Oh and don't get me started on the gym! I complained and complained but during my whole stay (three months!), they never got around to fixing the broken rowing machine. The lone weights machine is a safety hazard with no operating instructions and is in dire need of oiling.

Service
The staff is friendly and I honestly believe that they try very hard. Unfortunately it's the result and not the effort that matters.

Every morning for three months, I gave my room number to the same lady at the breakfast buffet. It seems that she could never remember me. Maybe to her, all of us asians look alike. TO her credit however, she finally got it right during my last week but she never greeted me by name. In fact, none of the staff ever took the trouble to learn my name!

The breakfast spread is good but I missed the free apples that the Southern Sun always had for its guests. The coffee and tea is self-service so you get it instantaneously but it's not as fancy as the Sun's made-to-order cappucinos and latte.

Some tips:
1. Request for a room on the higher floors. The streets are very busy and very noisy. Every 8pm, there's a honey truck that drains the septic tank across the street and it's very loud and annoying.
2. Use the do not disturb sign! Housekeeping will come and clean your room at 8am. Even on Saturdays. And Sundays. WTF!?!
3. Laundry is very expensive. For the price of washing a shirt, I can do a whole week's worth at the same-day service Nannucci laundromat right behind the hotel.

Conclusion:
There was always a lot of Mandarin speaking tourists while I was there so I guess that's a good sign. If you're just looking for a place to stay while you're vacationing in Cape Town, The Fountain Hotel would be a good choice. The daily rate is cheaper than the Southern Sun's and if you're willing to overlook the pool and gym, it's really not that bad.
***
If you liked this review, you may also want to read my review of the Southern Sun: Cape Sun.

Abakhaya at Mama Africa, Cape Town

African beats fused with jazz and an unbelievable vocalist who sings in an operatic tenor. It's a voice built for the opera crossed with African chutzpah. (bonus points for the rhyme?)

***
My mouth was agape with incredulity. Here was an African man in a sleeveless shirt hopping up and down a makeshift podium made of a pair of overturned plastic coke cases.

I wasn't surprised at the tourists hopping up and down with him and swaying rhythmically as if in a trance. I couldn't help myself either. The playful marimba complemented by the various percussions and jazz trumpeteer was just a rocking good time!

And such a familiar playlist! Sexual Healing, Don't Worry Be Happy, No Woman No Cry, Fallen; these songs were all performed African style with percussions, a killer marimba, trumpet solos topped with an opera-tenor voice and it just worked!

This is a mash-up to end all mash-ups!

I bought a CD from them but sad to say, it's just not the same. Abakhaya has played in many international venues and they are best experienced live.

Anyway let's talk about the food at Mama Africa. Surprise, surprise it is typically African. For starters, try the Snoek pate (ZAR32.5) which is similar to an open-faced tuna sandwich. If you're feeling a bit adventurous, order the wild game mixed grill (ZAR165) that has grilled kudu, ostrich, crocodile and springbok. You've seen them in the wild, now you can eat them.

For dessert, I recommend the banana flame (ZAR37) just for the theatrics. Finally, to top it all off-- order a double Amarula on crushed ice. Yum.

Rating:

Bonus points for the Michael Jackson-esque exclamations of "eeeheee!" (minus crotch grab) that punctuated some of the faster songs! This is a must-see if you're in Cape Town. Visit Mama Africa on Long St. Abakhaya performs during Wednesdays. The place gets packed really quick so make sure you call and reserve a seat.

Quiz night at Pirates Steakhouse and Pub, Hout Bay

See if you can figure out this sample question from yesterday's quiz night (every 1st Thursday of the month) at Pirates Steakhouse and Pub at Hout bay. The champion team was able to get 13 out of the 14.
***
To make the story semi-readable, insert the names of well known bands and artists-- some old, some new. The number in parenthesis indicate how many letters. Good luck!

*right said fred* (5,4,4) as he pulled the bedclothes from us. It was 7am and we were on a surfing holiday. Fred continued "let's go down to the *beach boys* (5,4)-- there's great surf running". I put on my *pink* (4) bathing suit and headed down to the *Sandy Shaw* (6,4)

We soon spotted a group of local lads playing volleyball *Who* (3) were all art lovers-- they were known as the *Culture Club* (7,4). This part of the beach was for men only and was known as the *Boyzone* (7). As soon as we joined them, the tide rose quickly and we got *Wet Wet Wet* (3,3,3)

Dick was the first to get hungry and wanted some breakfast, but rather than use the path back to the top, he decided to climb the rock face. Someone shouted, "don't climb the *Cliff Richard* (5,7), some *Rolling Stones* (7,6) may fall down and hurt you". Unfortunately, he did slip and fall but luckily he was not badly hurt-- a *Deep Purple* (4,6) gash and a few scratches which were covered with a *Band Aid* (4,3).

On the way home, we were stopped by *The Police* (3,6) who told us that we would have to find another way home as there were some *Men at Work* (3,2,4) on the road ahead and there was no way through.

(Highlight the space between the *asterisks* for the answer.)
***
I always enjoy quiz night at Pirates-- the questions are creative, difficult, but just difficult enough so that you're kicking yourself and saying "I knew that!!!"

What color is an archer's bull's eye? Who was paid $10million for a 10 minute appearance in Superman, which among rose, mike, charlie and juliet is the odd one out, what's a word that begins with A that is used unchanged in over a thousand languages... This is jeopardy in a steak house!

Try the tender rump-bites and ribs combo (ZAR 50) or the pirates beef burger (ZAR 26). Wash it down with a Katemba followed by a Jack & Lime and you'll be drinking like a local in no time.

Conclusion:
Three and a half pawikan points. It's good, clean fun best enjoyed in large groups. Minus points because i've gone to quiz night three times and I still haven't won anything!!!

The Nose, Cape Town

The Nose has fantastic food, a cozy ambience and a good selection of wines by the glass.
***
As I was surveying the clump of restaurants at the Cape Quarter, the specials of The Nose which written on a small black-board caught my attention: Zebra carpaccio and a veal stew in an ossobuku sauce served with vegetables and mustard mash.

I've neither had Zebra nor ossobuku before so I sat down to try it. To make a long story short, I was not disappointed. The carpaccio had a weird gamey aftertaste but i wolfed it down anyway. The veal melts in your mouth, very tender, very tasty. Perfect meal for winter and reasonably priced.

I returned a couple of weeks later and the special of the day was warthog with stewed apples. I've never hard this before but it is the dish with which I will measure all future warthog meals. The meat was almost falling of the bone and the sweet stewed apple made the perfect complement!

For dessert, I tried the Diemersfontein pinotage 2006-- a very strange wine for me because of the very bold taste of chocolate and coffee! This was also my first time to try the sweet-as-honey Simonsig Gewurztraminer. Yum.

Rating:
Four pawikan points! Bonus points for our Xhosa-speaking waiter Thando and his quirky sense of humour. Come and visit for dinner-- depending on the night, they've got a jazz pianist, ladies night and free wine tasting.

Pepénero, Cape Town

Pepénero is modern, stylish and chic-- perfect for the after party.
***
I stumbled upon Pepénero on a quiet Friday night and when I stepped inside, I immediately felt expensive. White tablecloths, leather couches, dim lights and some beautiful beautiful lounge music was playing. Apparently this place mixes its own blend of South African chill out and a three CD set was for sale for ZAR500. Too expensive for me so I decided to just eat instead.

The food
I was a bit disappointed with their pasta. The asparagus risotto (ZAR80), prawn linguine (ZAR110) and meat ravioli (ZAR50) were ordinary and did not taste as good as the restaurant looked. Skip the Italian fare and have the meat instead-- I recommend the Fillet Pepénero coated with black pepper and mustard seeds (ZAR90). The pepper crust complemented the tender beef and went well with the Southern Right Pinotage (ZAR180).

Make sure you leave space for the sinful desserts. They've got the standard tiramisu (ZAR35) and crème brulée (ZAR35) but I highly recommend the chocolate filled banana beignets (ZAR40). (This beignet resembled a tiny donut with a sweet filling.) Yummy!

Service
The service is excellent as I've come to expect in almost all the places I've been here in Cape Town. The staff is unobtrusive, attentive and they know their food and wine!

Crowd
In the two times that I've been here, suffice to say that I was the only Asian in the room every time. At least on the occasions that I visited, most of the people were very well dressed and came in expensive cars. It doesn't have a snobbish vibe though and I did feel welcome just dressed in my sneakers and jeans. (But then again, I always say that true beauty is effortless. Mwehehe!)

Rating:4/5
Four pawikan points. I'd say that the mood, ambience and music outshined (outshone?) the food. Best to come here to chillax after the party or to have a couple of drinks with your date. Bonus points for their logo which would probably look good as a tattoo.

Villa Surprise, Cape Town

Villa Surprise's themed rooms, lounge-y garden and friendly staff entices you to be lazy and stay indoors.
***
My colleagues stayed at the larger King's room (all decked out in royal purple) which had a four-poster bed, a balcony, a stately bathroom and a view of the mountains. I stayed in the Africa room with native drums that doubled as tables, bamboo curtains, ostrich egg chandeliers, an animal skin rug, a view overlooking the outdoor pool-- the works!

The villa is designed to be open and airy so much of the silence depends on your neighbors from the adjoining rooms. I could hear footsteps from the room above and a little of the chatter from the garden but thankfully everyone was mostly considerate and kept the peace.

All rooms have wireless internet (ZAR10/day), a small tv with only three channels (shame on you if you're staying here just to watch tv!), a mini-bar, proper queen sized beds (not just two singles pushed together!) and goose-down pillows. T'here's no airconditioning but the weather is cool enough for you to snuggle under the comforter.

Breakfast is late at 8:30 and served by the host Marko. You can have eggs any way you want, coffee, toast, cereals and fresh fruit salad. It's not spectacular really but I can't explain why the food tastes much better if you have it dining under the sunshine, in a peaceful garden with mountains all around, a cool breeze and the twittering of birds.

The guest house is a quick 8 minute downhill walk to Camp's Bay which has a beautiful sunset and rows of clubs and restos. However, getting back is much more difficult. Be prepared for a difficult uphill climb that will leave you gasping for breath!

Conclusion:4/5
Four pawikan points! Although it did not have the sea view and isolation of The Clarendon, it's proximity to Camps Bay and themed rooms make up for it.

Bonus points for Rolf the interior designer/landscaper who did all the rooms! Minus points for the old-school locks which require you to have the key to open the door even from the inside!
***
If you liked this, you may also want to read my review of The Clarendon on Bantry Bay.